In every workshop, there is a moment. Someone raises her hand and asks a question. The question is simple. Basic, even. And every other woman in the room exhales — because she was wondering the same thing.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is the mechanism through which groups learn. The woman who asks the question is not behind. She is leading.

This is counterintuitive. Most of us were trained to figure things out quietly, on our own, without drawing attention. The training is wrong. In a learning environment — any learning environment — the person who verbalizes confusion is doing everyone a service.

AI is particularly prone to this dynamic. Because it is coded as “technical,” women often assume everyone else understands it. Nobody does. The most confident person in the room is usually one question ahead of you, not ten.

The next time you are in a workshop, a class, or a conversation and you do not understand something — ask. You will not look foolish. You will look like the person who moves the room forward.